I don’t have a resolution this year. There’s nothing I want to really improve on; I just want to keep on truckin’.
In previous years, I’ve thought I was a bad person; a bad friend. I’ve come to realize now that is not the case. While I’m a total asshole to most people, I really am very caring and giving to my loved ones. There’s so much love in my heart to give, and I’m always ready to give it.
I’ve lost a lot of friends since high school, and well…I haven’t exactly made new ones. Besides the obvious of my fiancee-in-training, I have three really close friends. I’m lucky enough to have two of them really close by. And, I’ve never really seen the third a lot; she comes over when I force her. >:3 I never believed my parents when they said “you’ll probably only keep one or two life-long friends from your teens.” But, it really does happen. Everyone matures at a different level, and that definitely effects your relationships.
It’s weird getting older. I feel old. I think 90% of the people I meet that are my age are fucking stupid and immature. I’m goofy, random, and silly…but not immature. I see through people for what they really are. I know what I want in life. I feel like I’m far ahead and it feels good man. Happy new year; no improvements here.
Ever have a picture that made you feel so nostalgic you felt like crying? I do. It’s not of anyone in particular, not even anyone that has truly had a shaping effect on my life. The picture is actually mostly of myself. But, in that picture…in that moment, there’s this light on my eyes that can never be re-created. I thought back to when that picture was taken, that summer. I remember the location; the calm air, the warm sun, the gentle lake breeze…it felt like home. That whole summer felt like home. And even years later, looking back at that picture…I remember how truly, truly happy I was at the time. I remember the excitement each day brought. I remember the friends I had at home and away from home. I felt like I belonged; like I was accepted. Before I felt hatred, before I felt betrayal, and before I felt ashamed of every emotion that made me human. I’m a cold-hearted woman, I’ll admit.
Don’t get me wrong…I don’t have a bad life at all now; I’m working towards doing something great and fulfilling with my life. I’m genuinely happy. But, that excitement…that fresh burst of energy each day brought…I wonder if it’s possible to have that again. Perhaps that was the joy of being that age. I can guarantee if I went to the same spot the picture was taken at today, the feeling wouldn’t be the same.
I guess that’s why we have pictures; to capture feelings like that.
I guess it just made me think and I needed a place to capture my thoughts. There are occasions when I’ll look at old pictures. In case someone I know stumbles upon this, no…you will not find the picture….or if you did…you’d have no idea what I’m talking about.
3rd-story apartment with a balcony. In a nice area with beautiful grounds and a lake….squirrels and deer running around….so cute. It’s not a big apartment, but more than enough for two small-sized people.
Things I have: 1 oak end table, 1 large center oak table, t.v. stand, 1 dark brown center table, 2 dark brown end tables, silverware, cups, shower curtain/rings, toothbrush holder, soap holder, one SUPER-CUTE high-top glass dining table with matching high-chairs that swivel, lamps, and a ten-dollar gift card for Penny’s to get more stuff.
MAJOR THINGS I NEED: Couch, preferably two (or one and a chair)….mattress….bedframe…folding chairs for balcony. T.V. (Which I am NOT buying.) >:3
Feeling like a princess doesn’t have to involve fancy jewlery, dresses, or shoes. All it takes is knowing someone would give you the world if they could. All boys should treat their girls like Princesses. :3
My weekend was awesome…
Island-time. Laid-back, relaxed, beachy, warm, sunny, different.
Food-time. Plentiful, delicious, chocolates, homemade, fancy, filet mignon, lobster, seat looking over water, cute little forks.
Drink-time. Too much, liquid marijuanas, blue stars, running to three bars to find Midori, running to five bars to find Blue Island Pucker and Blueberry Vodka, shirley temples, fancy drinks at fancy restaurants with glow-sticks.
Spoiled-time. Spoiled. Spoiled. Spoiled. Loved.
“The more money I make, the more I can spoil you.”
<3 <3
If I ever move out, I’d like to have my own bar at home.
I’d also like to bring a bunch of alcohol to conventions and make fancy drinks and shots.
I’m very happy with the way my life is going.
Need more money…have not gotten paid from bar yet….no gas to go anywhere, not even gym…stuck in house during the day…which isn’t a big deal because I work 7 days a week…
This is what it’s like working in my bar:
Hillbillies with no teeth
Older men telling you you’re “mighty purty”
Inflatable swimming pools
10 dollars an hour
Super soaker battles (that you don’t have to clean up after)
Free booze
Dancing on the bar to “I just had sex” and making up a dance
Taking body shots off women
Women taking body shots off me
Did I mention free booze?
Creating my own cocktails
Dressing in fun outfits/costumes
Kicking people out
I have the power to cut you off/kick you out/call the cops
Liquid marijuanas.
Maybe in a half year I’ll be ready to move on out! Yaaaaaaaay! I’ve been pricing apartments. :3 There’s a couple in Parma/North Olmsted that aren’t badly priced.
Yes, I got a new job not because I have experience….but because I’m hot. That and my award-winning personality. BUT FUCK! I’ve wanted to bartend since I was 16, and it was pretty easy to land this job. I get to wear what I want, and there’s barely any side work to do besides some light cleaning. No taking out trash; no mopping; no sweeping. I can even wear cosplay. >:3
Going to the islands this weekend and I can finally drink there. Here’s to my beer gut!….As if. I’m getting fucking ripped.
That is all.
